the man with 100 cells 🧩

‘if you go platinum, its got nothing to do with luck / it just means that a million people are stupid as fuck‘ > immortal technique, ‘industrial revolution’

I remember not fitting into the cliques of high school, and the sense of being an ‘outcast’ of sorts hurt a lot because, well, I didn’t necessarily want to be like everyone else yet didn’t find a problem with being me.

It took some years and a few cross country trips after to really feel comfortable in my own skin, as well as the realization that it’s not worth the trouble to be understood or loved everywhere you go. Or to attempt to fit into a social schema that ain’t for you, a star trying to fit into a fucking square.

What do I mean? Dogmatic religious beliefs are one thing, especially as it relates to sexual expression. If it’s not hurting anyone, who the fuck cares?!! On my deathbed, the last thing I’ll be saying is that I denied myself a lifetime of petit morts ‘cos some small minded people decided to make a big deal about it. whatever, my n*. and I don’t even really like using that term, but to get the point across…

Also, people cutting others down with their tongues behind their backs without anything constructive to say or do . like, stop wasting your breath. I’ll roll a blunt for ya and we can find wonderful solutions to life’s problems. but no, you just wanna hate… 😒

I exhale the neuroses of the society in which I live along with the sativa vapours. What is the singular importance of the status quo of one society bound to a specific limited space/time region when there is the world to be considered? The opinions of the citizens of some podunk-ass city when there are so many others to thrive in? What once was a crippling embarrassment of not fitting in turns into a minor annoyance. Taxpayers money wasted on locking up people consensually burning plants, isn’t it insane? Parents forced to live away from their children because of the judgments of narrow minded strangers codified into law; some people don’t have the luxury of packing up their things and going to a place that is more understanding.

Economically and from a perspective of health barely above water, trying to find my niche. As it currently stands, this city is a dead-end for me. I do not wish to die here. Trial and error becomes costlier as time progresses. Razor’s edge of poverty, which was once also my mental state. Poverty being, ignorance of the habits of self as well as those of the society in which I live. I’m still here though, and feeling closer than ever to the point where I can live the best kind of life for myself and loved ones.

Then there are the issues that cannot be spoken about because it involves other people. It seems difficult to find someone who is willing to speak with you and not ‘at’ you. Ennui and melancholia, perhaps not suitable for those of a tender age. Concepts of what ought to be done, complicated by historical events, emotional turmoil and personal development. Not to mention economic necessities and quality of life issues…

Graveyards give me the creeps, knowing that I will one day eventually join their ranks. What would people say about me in my eulogy? If I don’t accomplish the goals I have, I’d probably be seen as some irresponsible fuck maybe. If I do accomplish them, then maybe they’d talk about those things, and how I was able to touch the lives of those I loved in my own unique style. But I guess that if I’m departed from this world, then those opinions don’t really matter to me, do they?

but u don’t hear me tho…

Wishing you all excellent health and prolific success in your endeavors… that is, unless your endeavors involve unnecessarily messing with people’s lives, then I wish you spectacular failure in that regard 😂👌 But still, excellent health and a positive impact in the world. 😊 peace…

>kaivalya