naivete (random thoughts)

Something mildly bad happened to me, and for a while I felt disappointment and sadness.  ‘How could you do this to me?’ was my first thought.  And then I thought that maybe it was done out of a sense of desperation – and then it was easier to forgive.  definitely not forgotten, though.

As a military veteran, the concept of war has taken a heavy toll on my psyche.  One of the primary motivations for joining was to protect those citizens whom I have known and loved in a time of need, for which I have no regrets, but I didn’t want to take a life.


A wise man once told me that happiness is relative.  While I am currently trying to understand and survive this ever-evolving economic order, I still have much hope for the near future for a long life and good health.  Even if much of my life is spent working towards a short retirement, the very fact of existing in a first-world country idolized by many is much to be thankful for.  I definitely can’t say that this good fortune was ‘deserved’ in any way, for I am no different from that man stuck in that country with shitty education and toxic foreign relations.  Lately I think often, “Had I not been born here, I probably would’ve been fucked.”  Life is stressful, but there are local soup kitchens to go to if sh*t hit the fan.  I used to bitch and moan that my life wasn’t progressing like a lot of people I knew, but we aren’t quite the same, are we?  Varied upbringing and the like.

A shoutout to those who bring friendly, loving vibes wherever they go.  In my worst moments, I think of you and smile.


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