‘life, undefined.’

I am afraid to waste your time.

Been having a rough time thinking about the future, at least in terms of careers and paychecks.  Unemployment does this to people, demoralizes them.  I wish someone could tell me, “Well, all you have to do is follow these 139 steps” and I’d just follow it to the letter.  What would life be without making one’s own choices, though? But I digress.

I am afraid to waste your time.

That is to say, that I wish to not lead you astray.  At least, I hope that you never know what it means to starve, to go wanting for the bare essentials.  Though it is a kind of negative motivation for me to be the best person possible.  There are no guarantees in the path of following one’s dreams.

We all live for different reasons.  Some say, ‘LibertΓ© ou mort!’  Others play it safe, ‘run away to fight another day.’ Or some hybrid.  I can share my optimism and advice with you, but I can’t tell you what to live for.  I live to be there for you, to be your support.  There isn’t much else that I live for nowadays.

It’s disheartening to not ‘have it all together’. Maybe I’m being hard on myself. I don’t wish to admit to you just yet that there are days that seem to eternally drag and make me feel like there’s no point to living.  But you remind me ever so often that… you are a very important reason.

I wish to prepare you for this sometimes unforgiving life.  And yet I want you to enjoy life as much as possible.  I pray to the divine that I can be good counsel.

And patience is a virtue.

(Hey KATie MiA Frederick!Β‘l, been meaning to comment on your page! but it doesn’t load on my mobile devices maybe from too much awesomeness 😎 thanks for visiting ever so often!)

(And gigoid, and megaeggz, Ritu, Militaru and so many others too numerous to mention, thanks for all your support.  Life is such a pleasure having known you all.  Sorrow halved, joy multiplied.)


4 thoughts on “‘life, undefined.’”

  1. Don’t be so hard on yourself hun…
    I know life can beat ya azz down sometimes and it seems to never let up…I have been hungry b4 …didn’t know where my next meal would come from if it ever did…times are really hard for me too just so you know that you are not alone my dear one… times where I have sat in the parking lot of the food store and cried and turned back around and went home cuzz I knew I didn’t have the money for food or anything…and seeing others with many carts full of food and watching them while they don’t even pay attention to price …life can really make you feel small and alone…
    This was beautiful to read and sad…brought tears to my eyes… just hang in there the best you know how…
    Hugggggs n β™₯β™₯

    Liked by 1 person

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