Sometimes I find myself asking, ‘is this where I should be in my life?’ usually in relation to the more mundane goals of survival. Life seems like a delicate balancing act, to which the most immediate goal is of maintaining adequate health on all fronts. In a relatively better state than your typical third world occupant (I had a vision of an impoverished city in China, thousands of people in cages, cardboard & sackcloth mattresses with no semblance of personal space), yet somewhat… dissatisfied? with my current lot in life. That I can do much better than my present effort right now.
The past 24 – 36 months have been a sort of catharsis, a period of self actualization in which it seemed like the world as Iknew it was dying a slow and painful death. You know how those kiddie TV shows always tell you to ‘be yourself?’ The world of adults, especially as you meet those whom have been around as long as it takes for Ouranos to revolve around the Sun, can sometimes be difficult to navigate.
A slow learning experience, something that no book could teach me. Those whom I love, especially those bloggers who ‘pling!’ stars to my cell phone when I am alone; those whom I couldn’t have met in any other manner.
I dream of great events, persist in my exertions and carry on with a sad smile.