Once upon a time, there was a person I worked for who was really stressed out. I asked him a question: ‘When’s the last time you’ve woken up feeling better than the last day?’ He didn’t answer me since, and that’s when I saw how tense life could be for some to the point of psyches breaking.
I’m just trying to be healthy. You only live once. Been reading Issac Asimov’s Foundation series, and working with high blood pressure. Need to exercise, but I need to be careful since I’m feeling… hollow inside. Sleep has been weird; I just trance into and out of waking consciousness. Listening to a screwed-up sample of ‘Stairway To Heaven’ in a cold room, the smell of vanilla burning in an incenser waking up my senses.
I feel the life in me slowly begin to return, after months of acidic soul catharsis. It’s been a hell of a life. Life is a blessing, though not always easy. I remember once being pain free; dunno if I’ll go out that way, though. =/ My diet has changed very much lately, more fresh stuff like carrots and root vegetables. Learned about curiosities of industrialized society such as ‘brominated vegetable oils‘ which contain the element ‘Bromine’ described in the following manner:
The bromide anion is not very toxic: a normal daily intake is 2 to 8 milligrams. However, high levels of bromide chronically impair the membrane of neurons, which progressively impairs neuronal transmission, leading to toxicity, known as bromism. Bromide has an elimination half-life of 9 to 12 days, which can lead to excessive accumulation. Doses of 0.5 to 1 gram per day of bromide can lead to bromism. Historically, the therapeutic dose of bromide is about 3 to 5 grams of bromide, thus explaining why chronic toxicity (bromism) was once so common. While significant and sometimes serious disturbances occur to neurologic, psychiatric, dermatological, and gastrointestinal functions, death is rare from bromism. Bromism is caused by a neurotoxic effect on the brain which results in somnolence, psychosis, seizures and delirium. Elemental bromine is toxic and causes chemical burns on human flesh. Inhaling bromine gas results in similar irritation of the respiratory tract, causing coughing, choking, and shortness of breath, and death if inhaled in large enough amounts. Chronic exposure may lead to frequent bronchial infections and a general deterioration of health. As a strong oxidising agent, bromine is incompatible with most organic and inorganic compounds. Caution is required when transporting bromine; it is commonly carried in steel tanks lined with lead, supported by strong metal frames. The Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) of the United States has set a permissible exposure limit (PEL) for bromine at a time-weighted average (TWA) of 0.1 ppm. The National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH) has set a recommended exposure limit (REL) of TWA 0.1 ppm and a short-term limit of 0.3 ppm. The exposure to bromine immediately dangerous to life and health (IDLH) is 3 ppm. Bromine is classified as an extremely hazardous substance in the United States as defined in Section 302 of the U.S. Emergency Planning and Community Right-to-Know Act (42 U.S.C. 11002), and is subject to strict reporting requirements by facilities which produce, store, or use it in significant quantities.
Heard that Scotland was thinking about a ‘national right to food.’ Well, if you’ve got the natural resources, why not use it to make sure the people don’t starve? There was a point in my life where I wasn’t working and relied on food stamps to maintain adequate health. I knew one veteran who lived a couple of doors down, he had 36$ to his name or something like that last we met. He was frail, reminded me of one of those storybook characters who die early in the overall plot. The last time I passed by his room, a coroner walked by me and gave me a sad smile. That freaked the hell out of me, because I had a premonition that he had died in his room. A plant growing on inhospitable soil. Reminds me of that other guy I knew who shot himself in the head a few years back, it really messed with my head quite a bit.
It’s said that sleep is the cousin of death… I haven’t slept well in a while. I think I’ll be able to sleep okay tonight. Healing, and life is a process and not a destination.