the blowup πŸŽ‡ (splitting the atom, revisited)

I realize that I’ve been manic depressive for quite some time, affecting my overall energy levels and abilities to do things.  Adrenaline and cortisol amped up to 13 at all times, and the gear shifter is stuck on 6th. πŸ˜” life in the city does that to you, I guess. really hectic, so many things happening at once.  It can be lovely and horrifying at the same time, seeing homeless people sleeping in the nooks of the 42nd St. Port authority bus terminal. Like, he was someone’s little lad once.  What the fuck?

I seem to have some sort of death anxiety. It’s hard to explain, but it’s a feeling that I won’t be in the land of the living five years from now or less. My circulation on the left side is really bad. I’ve learned to massage pressure points on my neck and shoulder to ease the pain, but GOD i miss hardcore shiatsu. 

(I wonder how much better the ‘adult_ver’ ones are…) Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°

People talk about universal basic income.  I could imagine universal food stamps, maybe with an optional daily limit for those bad at balancing checkbooks like me πŸ˜…
Oddly, I think this means that I won’t stop blogging anytime soon. 


One thought on “the blowup πŸŽ‡ (splitting the atom, revisited)”

  1. I think new York would do that to me on a daily bases
    I don’t do city any more
    Even where I live I’m an hour from the city
    Here it’s ok but it’s still hard
    Peace needs a place in your mind
    Trust me it’s hard

    Liked by 2 people

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