Went to see a psychologist yesterday that specializes in care of military veterans. I liked how I could just speak freely about everything that had occurred from my deployment in 2009 to the present moment. Helped me to feel better about the person I’ve become. Being in a place where people weren’t so bloody miserable for a change.
People sometimes won’t be able to relate to the experiences you’ve gone through (and vice-versa)… and that’s okay. Can’t force a camel into a keyhole, as the saying goes. It hurts, but c’est la vie.
Had a dream where me and my ex were together again. From the beginning of the dream, I knew that it wasn’t real because I was happy. I know that’s kind of a f***** up thing to say, but it’s how I feel. I don’t want that possessive, romantic love that you see on popular media. I’m content to feel this relatively uneventful malaise of depression over that , ultimately disappointing your aspirations in the end.
You can’t help but disappoint the people you love at times in order to achieve an inner sense of fulfillment, up to the point of death. It’s easier to understand this considering the recent nine months which my health has been seriously compromised. Days in which I wasn’t sure if I’d make it to sunset.
I wish everyone a peaceful happiness. And maybe you can say that time is out of joint, my love…